7 Ways HSPs Can Build a Gentle, Nurturing Career
Roughly 20% of the people around us can be categorized as highly sensitive or an “HSP.” This personality trait, also known as sensory processing sensitivity or SPS, is an inherent trait that helps HSPs notice, take in, and process more information about the world around us than others. Scientists have observed SPS in over 100 species and believe it’s a survival mechanism…whereby a certain percentage of the population is able to sense danger, warn its tribe, and keep them alive and thriving.
This means that HSPs are biologically hardwired to be hyperaware of our environment and scan for danger. And, since this trait can’t be turned on or off, our minds and bodies are responding this way constantly, whether we want it to or not.
Though this level of awareness might sound cool or like a superpower, when you’re an HSP (if you’re not sure, you can take an HSP quiz here), you know how this actually shakes out IRL — especially in the workplace. What it really means is that we’re much more easily drained than our non-HSP coworkers by the typical modern work environment and culture. Bright office lights, open floorplans, frequent meetings, forced team-building activities, and the pressure to constantly produce are just some of the many workplace challenges that trigger stress for HSPs.
This also means that the wrong work environment can cause HSPs unbearable anxiety, overwhelm, and burnout that leaves us feeling incapable of succeeding in our work and just plain lost. Though you might feel like there’s no hope that you’ll ever find the right path, please believe me when I tell you that no matter how sensitive you are to your environment, there are things you can do — today — to radically transform your career.
I know this because I’ve witnessed this transformation countless times in my clients who’ve gone from feeling anxious and overwhelmed to truly at peace in their careers by using the tips I’m about to share with you.
I also know because I’ve been through this transformation myself…
Over my 20 years in the publishing industry, I’ve been a production manager for Time Inc., copy editor for W. W. Norton, and a career- and hiring-advice writer for Monster.com. And even though I’ve worked with some incredible professionals over the years, and manager after manager has praised me as being a “high achiever” and “A-player,” I often felt overwhelmed, anxious, and like something was wrong with me. There was a point when things got so bad that I lost all confidence in myself and my ability to succeed or find work I loved.
But something major shifted within me when I finally realized how to build a career that worked for me and my sensitive nature…and it’s the reason why my coaching practice is so important to me. My awful experience in the workplace has made me realize that I want to help as many HSPs as possible escape stressful work environments and create gentler, more sustainable careers.
You do not have to struggle with your high sensitivity at work, and you can build a career you love — one that doesn’t drain you but actually gives you energy and makes you feel like you’re contributing something meaningful to this world.
In this article, I’m going to share with you the nine simple ways that HSPs like you create a gentler, more nurturing career. But first, I’m going to break down what a gentle, nurturing career for HSPs can truly look like. Then, I’m going to share how you can take back your professional power and discover a career that brings you infinitely more purpose, meaning, and joy.
So…brew a cup of tea, find somewhere cozy, and get ready to take lots of notes. We’re diving in!
What Do Gentle, Nurturing Careers Look Like for HSPs?
Picture this: you open your eyes on Monday morning after a good-night’s sleep. Instead of that nervous, gnawing pit in your stomach, you remember that you have made big career moves and you no longer worry about how your day will unfold.
Actually…you’re excited.
Your schedule is pretty clear, so you have time to get the kids off to school, brew some coffee, enjoy a morning journal session, and meditate. You put on gentle music, make some breakfast, go for a walk, and sign in for your first meeting at 11 a.m.
The people you work with are incredible; they’re smart, fun, supportive, and super laid back. They don’t care what you do with your time, as long as you do your work and do it well (which you naturally love to do, anyway). When you need time off, you have it. If you need to work from home, you can. When you get feedback from your manager, it’s a comfortable conversation that leaves you feeling inspired and knowing exactly where you need to focus. Your team is professional, supportive, and encouraging.
You are paid well, get promoted, and have lots of autonomy in your work. You have plenty of time to think in depth about solutions and bring creative ideas to the table. Your work is connected to your purpose, and you feel truly fulfilled.
Welcome to Your “Calling”
According to Dr. Barrie Jaeger, as outlined in her book Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person, there are three different ways that HSPs experience work: drudgery, craft, and calling.
What I just described is what HSPs who have found their “calling” experience when working. This is the pinnacle of your career journey and is just as exciting as it sounds: a sweet spot of a career that feels like it is meant for you; aligns with your core values, interests, and skills; and never feels like a burden. It brings you lots of purpose, meaning, and joy…and it fuels your soul…all while giving you the work-life balance you deserve.
Doesn’t this sound incredible? I want you to know that no matter how unrealistic this sounds, it is possible to land here with a few simple changes, which I’m going to share with you here.
But first, you should also understand how HSPs experience the other two levels of work: craft and drudgery. If you’re still reading this article, chances are you’re in one of these two camps…
How HSPs Experience “Craft”
One tier down from our calling is considered “craft.” These positions are great! They allow us autonomy over our work, challenge us to build our skills, and help us develop a greater expertise in our field of work. Our teammates are cool, for the most part, and we’re happy here. This level of work doesn’t necessarily satisfy our need for deep emotional connection or finding our purpose, but it pays the bills, and it’s tolerable.
Still…something is missing.
You find yourself daydreaming about the big things you want to accomplish in life, but you don’t know what you want or which steps to take next. You should be happy with your job, but you have that feeling in your gut that it’s not enough. There’s something better for you out there…you can feel it.
But at least it’s not drudgery…
How HSPs Experience “Drudgery”
At the bottom of the barrel, we have “drudgery.” These are the jobs that cause chronic stress, burnout, and overwhelm. They feel like an endless grind, and to get through the day, you’re really just going through the motions.
You don’t feel connected to your purpose, and you’re having trouble finding the meaning in what you do. There is a lack of emotional connection with your team, you’re frequently afraid to speak up, and you constantly feel pushed beyond your limits.
You might also feel:
a lack of motivation
building resentment
buried under fuzzy, heavy energy
lots of stress and burnout
anxious about starting your job search
like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle
If this sounds awful, it’s because it is. Truly.
I was in drudgery work repeatedly over the course of my career…even jobs that started out as a “craft” experience seemed to all end up here. All I can say is, when you try to tough it out for too long in work that feels like drudgery, the stressors can add up over time and take a large toll on your mental health. And the longer you stay here, the more time your HSP mind, body, and soul will need to recover.
So…my question to you is, if you were truly honest with yourself about how you’re experiencing your current position, which one of these three camps would characterize it best?
And — even more importantly — What do you want your work experience to be like?
How to Build a Better Career as an HSP
Now that we’ve agreed you can build a better career, the following sections will show you how. I think you’ll quickly see that all of these steps center around one major factor: you need to get really good at recognizing your needs and putting them first.
Every single step of the way.
So, to start honoring — and not fighting — your high sensitivity and build a career with lots of purpose, meaning, and joy, here’s what to do.
1. Understand Your Career Needs
The first step in building a better career is to get super clear on what your work needs are. Most of us have a general idea of what we’d like our work experience to be like, but we haven’t thought about it in depth.
As empathetic people, HSPs typically default to others’ ideas of what’s acceptable and what’s not; we let our employers dictate the hours we work, the vacation days we take, whether we work from home or the office, among other stipulations. After all, we’re just happy to have been chosen for the job! Although it’s great to feel grateful for your job, it’s also important to do work you love at a sustainable pace, so you should never feel shame for wanting better. That discontent is a nudge that guides you, telling you it’s time to move on.
A great place to start is to list out everything you can think your ideal work environment would include. And this is notthe time to be shy. I don’t care how bizarre or out of reach it sounds…I don’t care if your dream job has a crushed-ice machine and donuts in the breakroom. If it makes your heart happy, list it. You can edit your list later in the game, but for now the idea is to get as many of your wishes out in the open as possible.
For HSPs, a lot of our needs have to do with reducing stress and overwhelm, feeling valued, and building deep connection to our work and the people we work with. For example, maybe you’d like to:
decide which hours you work
work from home most or all days
have a shorter commute time
work in a lower-light setting
take more time on projects
be rewarded more for your effort
get regular promotions
have a closer connection to your team
have the ability to take breaks and rest
Here are some quick and easy prompts that will get you thinking about which to list:
If there was an ideal physical environment that you felt like I could get the most work done, what would that look like for you?
What pace of work do you enjoy and why?
What helps you focus the most?
What type of team would you enjoy being part of?
What types of people do you enjoy being around?
What tasks do you enjoy performing and why?
How do you need to recharge throughout the day?
What elevates your energy at work, and what drains it?
How do you enjoy communicating? (Email, text, social media, etc.)
Describe everything you can from as many angles as possible, then see if you can pick up on patterns that emerge. By taking this time to understand your specific needs in the workplace, you will set the foundation for making empowered choices as you go.
2. Clarify Your Career Intention
Once you’ve taken time to understand your unique career needs, the next step is to clarify your career intention. This means defining what you want to achieve in your professional life and what kind of impact you want to have — as it relates both to the world and your personal well-being.
This clear intention will help you make decisions that align with your values so you can continue focusing on what matters most: putting your work out into the world. It serves as a career map or litmus test for any opportunity that comes your way and will help you create a career path that feels more meaningful and sustainable for you in the long run.
For many HSPs, the “traditional” markers of success — such as climbing the corporate ladder or meeting high-pressure targets and KPIs — don’t always resonate. Instead, success might look like feeling energized at the end of the day, having a flexible schedule that allows for more downtime or time with your kids, or contributing to causes that align with your values.
Here are steps you can take to set your career intentions…and don’t worry if they’re not so clear yet. They will materialize and solidify as you go. The goals here is to get something down and start the momentum:
Take time to reflect on what success looks like to you on a deeper level. If you were able to achieve that level of success, what would it feel like? What would take to make it happen?
Identify two to three of your major core values (these are the values that you uphold every day and regularly draw a line in the sand about). Take time to explore why they’re so meaningful to you. How are they being honored in your current role? How would you like to honor them more?
Once you’re clear on what success looks like and which values are meaningful to you, jot down the career goalsyou’d like to aim for that matches up with these paths. You can be as general or specific here as you like.
By using these steps to clarify your career intentions, you can create a sense of purpose and direction that keeps you moving forward toward your new career — even if where you’re going isn’t all that clear yet. You still have a lot of exploring to do after this phase, so be open to the fact that your ideal career path may take time to materialize. But each step you take, no matter how small, is another step closer.
3. Build Your Confidence and Overcome Doubt
Because HSPs are so different than most of the people we encounter in our personal and professional lives, we often feel unsure about ourselves and like we’re flawed in some way. This lack of confidence can rear its ugly head in the workplace, allowing that pesky imposter syndrome to set in and leaving us feeling doubtful at every turn.
Combine this self-doubt with the pressure to fit into a fast-paced, high-energy work culture that often values extroversion over the thoughtful, introspective attributes that HSPs bring to the table, and you’re spelling a recipe for disaster.
However, with a little practice doing the following, you’ll be amazed at how much your confidence you can grow:
Develop a growth mindset: Our mindset is one of the biggest factors that dictates how we show up for work (and ourselves!) on a daily basis. There are two types of mindsets most of us fall into: “fixed” or “growth.” HSPs with a fixed mindset believe everything is set in stone. “I am not good at —.” “I will never find my dream job because —.” But when you can cultivate a growth mindset (and everyone is capable of this shift), these thoughts become more of a solution-focused curiosity rather than a brick wall. “I wonder how I can get better at —.” “I haven’t found my dream job yet. I need to work more on —.” Cultivating a growth mindset takes practice, but it will help you focus on the solutions rather than obstacles in your way.
Practice overcoming the fear of failure: Those pesky feeling that hold us back, such as fear, judgement, and uncertainty can literally stop us in our tracks. According to Deepak Chopra in his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (which I highly recommend if you’re on a spiritual journey, btw), so much of our fear stems from staring into the future and seeing a whole lot of unknown. Instead of fearing this future “unknown,” we can visualize it as a blank canvas and invitation for creativity. The unknown hasn’t happened yet, and we can still write that story. Besides, every failure is another learning opportunity and stepping stone toward our eventual success.
Use daily affirmations and gratitude: You might be rolling your eyes at this one. I get the argument that you can’t make yourself feel happy, and sometimes it just feels good to mope….and other times feeling down is needed (for example, grieving when things get tough is healthy). But as someone who has personally changed her mindset by focusing on everything that is going right, I am here to tell you these practices can help you get out of your “I can’t do anything right” mentality and lessen that critical inner voice, no matter how hopeless things feel. Think of it less as trying to pretend “everything is fine and dandy!” and more like “Even though things can certainly suck, there are things I can be grateful for anyway.” This boost of happiness gives you more energy to move forward in the direction of your career goals and help lift that weight caused by our negative feelings.
Take small steps outside of your comfort zone: We often imagine that we need confidence to be able to leap, when it’s actually the opposite. When we leap, we’re able to build our confidence. Thinking about and imagining how we want to be isn’t nearly as powerful as stepping into that space, whether we’re ready or not. Ask anyone who has “made it” in the big leagues, and they’ll tell you they’re still not sure they’re doing things correctly. So, take a small step outside of your comfort zone, acknowledge your growth, and continue building your confidence by taking action and learning as you go. Trust yourself that no matter what life throws your way, you have the wherewithal to handle it.
Seek mentorship and support: Surround yourself with people who believe in you and can provide guidance, encouragement, and constructive feedback. You can do this by seeking out a mentor, coach, or loved one — choose someone your trust who understands your strengths as an HSP and can offer insights on how to navigate your career with confidence. This can help you gain clarity on your blind spots, encourage your self-growth, and remind you of your potential when self-doubt creeps in. Additionally, connecting with other HSPs — whether through professional networks or online communities — can provide a sense of camaraderie and validation.
Building confidence isn’t just about achieving success in your career — it’s about creating a mindset that empowers you to trust yourself, embrace challenges, and thrive in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling. As you continue building your confidence, your doubt will dim. By embracing your HSP traits, focusing on your strengths, and taking consistent, manageable steps to challenge your fears, you’ll develop the self-assurance needed to pursue a career that aligns with your truest, most authentic self.
4. Set Boundaries Clearly and Often
Setting boundaries and communicating them effectively in the workplace is critical for maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical well-being as an HSP. Our workplaces can become a significant source of stress and overwhelm for us, so it’s important to get really good at setting boundaries in and around our needs.
I find it helpful to think of boundaries as a way you can kindly push back when you need an adjustment in your environment, relationships, or workload that will help you perform at your best. Be sure to go slow, asserting a boundary when you’re ready, and taking a moment to see how it feels. Then, take time to reflect on your experience. In this way, you can keep learning from each interaction and build upon it as you move forward.
Here are a few steps to consider:
Identify your key boundaries in the workplace: Reflect on which boundaries make you feel the most at ease in the workplace. Working hours, remote offices, declining after-work events, and how much emotional energy you’re willing to spend on your team are all important boundaries to consider.
Practice communicating your boundaries clearly: Boundaries only work when you set them clearly and effectively…and this can look different for each of us. Typically, you want to start with an “I feel” statement and follow it with an “I need” statement. For example: “I’ve feel like my work is piling up here. I need you to tell me which projects I should prioritize.” Another example is, “I feel tired tonight. Thanks so much for the invite to grab drinks, but I need to go home and take a breather so I’m ready for our meeting tomorrow.”
Ask for what you need when you need it: As HSPs, it can be difficult to ask for what we need…especially at work where we fear we’ll be judged or punished for “slacking off.” We often thrive in environments where we have lots of flexibility — whether in terms of our workload, schedule, or workspace. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated by your current work setup, don’t hesitate to ask your managers to accommodate. Maybe you need a quieter office, flexible work hours, or the ability to work remotely. If they can accommodate your request, they will. If they can’t, you can decide whether you want to work somewhere that can.
The boundaries you need to set can evolve for you over time, so it’s important to check in with yourself regularly to ensure they’re still serving your needs. By setting and communicating your boundaries often, you’re empowering yourself to create a work environment that supports your well-being and, ultimately, your ability to succeed.
The more boundaries you set, the easier it gets. Sooner than you know if, you’ll see this is a powerful act of self-respect and way to protect your energy while ensuring that your career is aligned with your personal needs. When you make boundaries a priority, you truly create more space for creativity, productivity, and long-term fulfillment in your professional life.
5. Create a Stronger Work-Life Balance
As an HSP, prioritizing a healthy work-life balance is essential for maintaining your energy and avoiding burnout, which can happen to us often. This might mean creating clear divisions between our work and home life, taking time off when we need to, and developing healthy routines that support our well-being daily, among other balanced actions.
Besides, we tend to need much more rest and time away from work than non-HSPs, which makes it especially important for us to protect our energy, mental health, and well-being. The goal in creating a strong work-life balance is to ensure that our careers support our lifestyle — not the other way around.
Here are some great ways to strike this heathy work-life balance that has worked for me and some of my clients:
Consider what a balanced work-life environment looks like for you: Do you need more flexibility in your schedule to accommodate personal time? Are you craving more downtime to recharge after a busy day or week? By designing your career around your needs for balance, you’ll be able to stay energized and engaged in your work while also caring for your emotional and physical health.
Prioritize your downtime and self-care routine: We can’t pour out love, creativity, and energy from an empty cup. Part of having an incredible work-life balance means making lots of time for ourselves to fill that cup. Book a massage, take a walk, read that novel you’ve been putting off, and practice yoga and meditation. Downtime and self-care are so needed for HSPs, and allowing yourself to indulge in activities that give you energy and light you up will help energize you for your workday.
Schedule time to unplug and fully disconnect from work: In today’s digital age, it’s easy to be constantly connected to work, whether through emails, phone calls, or social media. For HSPs, constant connectivity can feel draining and quickly lead to overstimulation. Create habits that allow you to unplug and truly disconnect from work. This could mean setting limits on your screen time, establishing “no work” zones or times (such as during meals or right before bed), or creating tech-free days or weekends. This will help you to regain focus and mental clarity, so you can return to your work feeling refreshed and recharged.
Embrace flexibility and adapt to your needs: As an HSP, you may find that your energy levels and emotional needs fluctuate from day to day. Sometimes you may feel energized and ready to dive into a busy workday, while other times you may need more rest and recovery time. It’s important to embrace flexibility in your schedule to accommodate for these fluctuations. If your job allows it, consider negotiating for flexible work hours or the option to work from home when you need extra time to recharge. Being adaptable ensures that you can honor your emotional and physical needs, rather than pushing yourself to meet unrealistic expectations.
Spend time in nature and participating in other stress-relieving activities: Spending time in nature (and stress relief in general) is a powerful way for HSPs to replenish their energy and regain a sense of calm. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the mountains, or simply sitting by the ocean, nature has a grounding effect that can help reduce stress and soothe overstimulation. Regularly incorporating outdoor time and other stress-relieving activities, such as deep breathing, mediation, journaling, and yoga into your routine will give you that restorative break you need to stay balanced. Additionally, engaging in relaxing activities such as painting, journaling, and listening to calming music can help you recharge and maintain emotional equilibrium.
By prioritizing work-life balance and taking intentional steps to protect your energy, you create a foundation for a more sustainable and fulfilling career. Remember, balance isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept — it’s about discovering what works for you and adjusting as needed to ensure that your career complements your well-being, rather than compromises it.
6. Build a Professional Network of Like-Minded HSPs
One of the most helpful tools for building your dream career is gathering a network of like-minded professionals. It’s incredibly helpful to have people whom you can reach out to when you’re looking for new opportunities in your field — and bonus if they’re also HSP (or at least understand the trait).
Although you might not feel like building and maintaining professional relationships is strong suit of yours, the good news is that building a professional network as an HSP does not have to take a lot of your time or energy. These relationships are often ones where you touch base occasionally, and you shouldn’t have to put too much time or energy into them.
Here’s what to try:
Start by seeking out communities and professional groups that cater to HSPs in your field of interest. If you’re not sure where to start, just ask! The HSP community is full of kind and gentle souls who love to lift each other up.
Join online forums, attend conferences, or take a free course. There is so many resources out there for HSPs, and it’s a great way to meet others in your industry. Reach out afterword and ask if anyone wants to grab a cup of coffee over Zoom. Not everyone will say yes, but don’t let that discourage you from reaching out to the ones who will.
Find a mentor who understands the unique needs of highly sensitive professionals and meet with them monthly. They can help you learn how to redirect your focus whenever you’re feeling set back or lost and offer you encouragement along the way.
These connections will not only help bolster your confidence but will also open doors to opportunities that feel aligned with your values, ultimately contributing to a gentler and more fulfilling career. Remember: your network doesn’t need to be large, just meaningful. The quality of your connections will always outweigh the quantity in every instance.
7. Practice Lots of Self-Compassion
Finally, you want to practice lots of self-compassion and grace. One of the loudest and most constant voices we have is the one inside our heads — and how we speak to ourselves matters. For example, instead of berating yourself for not getting as much done as you wanted to last week, you can remind yourself that no matter what happens, you’re always on time, and moving slowly beats staying put any day!
When we nag ourselves, all that inner critic does is amplify our doubts, insecurities, and fears. This voice may tell you that you’re too afraid, too emotional, or not skilled enough for certain types of work, among other awful, limiting beliefs.
However, when we practice lots of self-compassion, it becomes easier to set our shame to the side and see everything we experience as an opportunity for growth. Every negative experience in our lives has the power to teach us something profound, and when we’re able to lean into the lesson, each of these perceived setbacks makes us stronger.
Here are some ways you can put self-compassion into practice:
List all the ways your high sensitivity challenges you in the workplace.
Reflect on how you typically respond…what are the words you use? How do you typically feel when you disappoint yourself?
How can you reframe these experiences in terms of learning from them?
How can you imagine these challenges as strengths, and not something to be fixed?
What are ways you can practice speaking more gently to yourself and with more love?
What are other ways you can practice self-compassion and celebrate yourself more regularly?
These positive reinforcements will help you boost your confidence and give you space to feel proud of the work you’re doing, giving you a sense of lightness rather than that heaviness we feel when we’re so hard on ourselves. This makes it easier to make progress, since we’re not keeping ourselves stuck in such a low and heavy space mentally.
Transform Your Career…the HSP Way
I know firsthand how it feels to struggle with the demands of a career that doesn’t honor your sensitivity. But I also know what it’s like to break free from that cycle and build a career that is not only fulfilling but also deeply gentle and meaningful. If you’re an HSP who’s feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next step, please know that it is my honor to help HSPs like you experience the joy, purpose, and confidence that comes with embracing your sensitivity and using it to build the career of your dreams.
If you’re ready to start creating a career that feels deeply connected to your true self, I’d love to support you in this journey. To take the first step toward your dream career today, sign up for a free Career Clarity Breakthrough Session to get clear on your next steps for pursuing work with lots of purpose, meaning, and joy.
Life is too short to spend it feeling overwhelmed at work. Let’s create a path that honors you, your needs, your gifts, and your purpose. I can’t wait to support you and see where your career journey leads you!